I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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