Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
how does that bad decision feel?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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