bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
my poor anus
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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