I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
