3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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