Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
