Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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