she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
