dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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