dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My vagina is officially offended.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
