i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
