Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
