Where is the hickey?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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