She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
