sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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