omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize