my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
