I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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