your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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