The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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