Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
