shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
