Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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