i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
