get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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