some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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