Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize