omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
