Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
