Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
