I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me