Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
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One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
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my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship