I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.