i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt