my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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