i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
