Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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