I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
