Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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