whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
