Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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