the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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