It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
