Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
