You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
