Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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