Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
what is it with giant penises always finding me
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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