Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
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