There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you would pick up someone in the library
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize