I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
