She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize