I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
