Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
