oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
