the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
I'm just looking out for you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU