Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame