Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I think I just shit out all my problems.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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