Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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