I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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