If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.