i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen