Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates