The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings