i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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